Hi, Steve,
Five years. Whoa. This definitely falls into the category of what I have always known and what has never made sense in my head. It's one of those things that make you realize life truly does go on. Our entire world changed that day, but just ours. Grief is funny that way.
You see, for most of my time with Casey, you haven't been around, but you are such an important force in our life that I still can't wrap my head around the idea that you won't ever be here. It's been five years, and I think it is more unfair today than that day five years ago.
Tonight, we headed to Greenbriar to feel a little closer to you, to honor you. That place is always comforting and safe to me. The first day I met you we ended the day by having dinner there after a Hawkeye football game, my first, but not last, time at the round table in the corner. And since you've passed, we have still celebrated every one of your birthdays there.
I asked Casey his favorite memory with you at Greenbriar. I half knew the answer as he has talked many times of the days you two would stop on the way home from a meeting in Cedar Rapids. He said it pretty much a given. There is still such peace and true happiness in his eyes when he shares about those moments. (I also learned today that you may have Indian leg wrestled BJ in the middle of the restaurant. And won.)
I know I don't have to tell you this, but you would be so proud of Casey. After you died, Rexco was never the same for him. I could tell he was lost. He gave it a valiant effort, especially after his sabbatical in 2014. But the passion he had for the job never returned. I want that for him. I want a career in which he feels confident, competent, and successful.
Since leaving, it hasn't been easy on him. Or us. But I still believe, with every fiber of my being, that it was the right choice. I know he desperately wants your advice on all of the jobs, interviews, and opportunties he has faced in the last two years. We chat frequently about what you would think of his decisions, what advice you would have. While I can't guide him much professionally (teaching is an entirely different ballgame), I can guide him in knowing that you would one hundred precent support him.
And, your sweet granddaughter Mila. Man, do I wish I could see you two together. We take comfort in knowing you are watching over us, guiding us.
Love,
Your favorite daughter-in-law