I had been avoiding this move. I thought it was because I didn't want my little baby to be in a big girl bed. I thought it was because I didn't think I had time to make this switch. I thought it was because I wanted new bedding, new furniture, and new paint in her new room. I thought I it was because I wanted to make it perfect like her current room.
I slowly told myself these were unrealistic expectations. Mila's nursery was a work in progress that took six months to complete. I reassured myself that, in time, her new room would be just as perfect.
When she was half off her bed on Friday night, I knew it had to be this weekend. I bought a super cute quilt. I put Doug to work putting shelving in her closet. We rearranged the bedroom to make sure the bed was against two walls. We started clearing boxes we hadn't looked in since we had moved in four and a half years ago. It was time. I was as ready as I would ever be for Mila to be a new room.
Or so I thought.
I started searching for a new dresser for Mila's room. I toyed with the idea of going to Homemakers and getting her a bedroom set. I know it wasn't necessary. I didn't have a bedroom set until I was married. And we definitely can't afford the added expense now. I clearly was trying to avoid something.
And then it hit me. She didn't need a new dresser because no one else would be using the one in the nursery. I realized this move didn't really have anything to do with Mila growing up. It was about the empty nursery.
I am sick of being reminded that I am not pregnant. Now, this one is a big gapping empty whole in my house constantly taunting me.
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