Celebrating Year 2

Our second anniversary was celebrated much like the first.  Both included at great night and delicious meal at 801 Steak and Chop.  Both were decorated with little hearts and special anniversary menus from the staff at 801.  Both shared memories of the last year and of our wedding day.  But this year, one of us had a "mocktail" and our next big adventure silently wiggled in my tummy. 

Tango-tini

Key Lime Pie

In our cards this year, we both wrote a note to the other about how lucky we feel to have each other.  I am so honored and blessed to get to spend my life with someone who loves and spoils me like he does.  

Gender Reveal Party: Baby Smitty's 1st Happy Hour

I like to know things.  Always have.  So when given the chance to know if our little nugget was a boy or a girl, there was no question.  I had to know.

Not only did I have to know, I can't keep a secret like that.  So, the day we found out, we hosted Baby Smitty's 1st Happy Hour to tell our families.

Waiting from our 11 am appointment until 4:30pm was hard enough.  I wanted to call my mom the minute I left the doctor's office.  Thankfully, I could keep busy with planning and prepping thanks to ideas from Pinterest.

The cupcakes:

The appetizers:

The decorations: 

The guests: 

Each guest got to decide if they thought Nugget was a boy or girl before getting a cupcake.  They also got to make predictions of Baby Smitty's arrival date.

The parents: 

Completely staged play by play.  Thanks to Aunt Crysta for the photography skills!  Little Nugget will love laughing at her cheesy parents one day.

IT'S A GIRL!  

We are beyond excited and blessed to welcome our daughter this fall.

Mother's Day, 2015

Last year, I fought back tears.  I plastered a smile on my face.  I worked to make it through the day, going through the motions.  It had only been weeks since I lost my little baby.  I tried to fill the emptiness.  But, I failed.  The day was yet another reminder of what I had lost.  All I could do was look forward and hope.

And I did.

This year, I am glowing.

I knew I wanted to capture this picture of the mom-to-be and grandmas-to-be, but I didn't know the feelings it would conjure as I look at it.

For the first time this weekend, the idea of getting to be a mom is starting to sink in.  It helped that my Friday morning started with the first little flutter in my tummy.  Just like a butterfly, my little nugget said "Good morning, Momma."  Then, hearing "Happy Mother's Day" all day long, reminding me of the precious babe growing and thriving inside me.  The weekend ended Monday afternoon at my sixteen week appointment listening to my little nugget's heartbeat.  No better sound in the world.

Even more so, I look at my mom's proud smile and am so excited she gets to be a grandma.  And how lucky I am that my kids will have her.  I can picture their future: playing in flour while baking, laying on the floor coloring, sleeping over with Grandpa Doug teasing them and running to Grandma for comfort.  I am jealous.  And so grateful.

We all look forward to next year in the same spot when we will pass around a seven month old giggling baby who will never question how loved he/she is.  

Our Little Nugget, Part 1

Steve Smith

I'm thankful for this man I met when Iowa played Nebraska to reignite a rivalry.  He didn't know me from a stranger on the street, but that didn't stop him from wrapping me in his big arms with his signature kiss.  He instantly made me feel welcome.  Loved.  It was the first of many games we would watch in his man cave, his sanctuary.  Until the last game we watched together, also the Iowa and Nebraska rivalry, with a better outcome.  This time, the sanctuary was our new home.

I'm thankful for the son he raised.  So many wonderful traits I adore in my husband were either inherited or nurtured by his father.  The smile.  The laugh.  The generous heart.  The love for life.  The business sense.  The ability to see the good in everyone and every situation.

I'm thankful he showed my husband what it meant to be a father.  He taught him that being present is the best gift a father can give to his family.  He modeled for him how to provide for a family.  I know my husband will be the best dad because he had the best example.

I'm thankful he celebrated our wedding.  If you didn't already know, you wouldn't have had any idea that cancer was eating at him that day.  There were no shortage of dancing partners for him that night, and he made sure to give each one his undivided attention.  He hung in until the reception closed down, not wanting to miss a beat.  And, at the end of the night, he walked up seventeen flights of stairs to his hotel room, high on happiness.

I'm thankful for what he saw in me.  Sharing a cocktail on the deck in Okoboji, he knew I brought happiness to his son's life.  He knew my strength and passion in my career and in life.  He knew my love for his son.  I'm thrilled he encouraged my husband to make that first phone call and ask for that first date.  I'm honored he called me his son's fiancé months before it was official.  I was blessed to be introduced as his favorite daughter-in-law.

I'm thankful I got to call him, Papa, too.  Even if it was for too short of a time.

To my husband of one year, "I Won't Give Up on Us"

"I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up"

You picked this song the minute you heard the first verse.  It ended up being my favorite moment of our wedding.  We had just said our vows, "I do, I will, I promise," and went to light the unity candle.  And we paused.  And we savored it.  

It is the most vivid memory I have and hold dear.  Then, your dad and my mom joined us to witness the signing of our marriage license.  We hugged, cried, and prayed.  As I signed Mrs. Smith for the first time, I knew giving you all my love was the easiest decision I ever had to make.  

"And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend 

For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn

We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in

I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not, and who I am"

There couldn't have been a more fitting song to show the strength of our relationship and first year of marriage. Through loss, challenges, and celebrations, we didn't break, we didn't burn.  With each new trial thrown our way, we had to learn how to bend without the world caving in.  Somehow, we protected our love from the forces life threw at us.  

"I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)
God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)
God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)"

I think about the speech your dad gave on that magical day.  How he told God, "we got this one right" when talking about our love.  Even though I don't have the faith like your dad did, I know He knows we are tough enough and we are worth it.  

I am honored to fight through life with you every day. 

Why I Know How to be a Great Mom

When it comes to motherhood, I'm not worried.  Nervous, maybe.  Worried, not even a little bit.  That is the part I am looking forward to the most right now.  I have the best example to follow.  She showed me how to love, to nurture, and to comfort.  She taught me this and so much more.

I know never to make a promise unless you can keep it.  They are sacred.
I know to nurture the moments a child is ready to talk, even if it is bedtime.
I know how to foster independence and uniqueness in a child.
I know the comfort and ease only a mother can provide.
I know how to support and encourage someone so much she feels like she can take on the world.
I know when times get rough how to show up and listen.
I know how to give the best hugs, and there is no such thing as too many.
I know what the unconditional love and acceptance of a mother feels like.

I can't wait to make her proud by being a mom like her.  When I get the chance, she will be the most amazing grandma, just like mine.  

Thanks

To say we've been through a lot this year is the understatement of the century.  We sat down at dinner last week.  Worn out.  Beat up.  At our max.  We reflected on the last six months.

 And we're grateful.

~ for the wine I can now drink -- and need
~ for the chocolate
~ for the beautiful flowers to brighten our day
~ for the cards and messages offering condolences 
~ for the thoughts, prayers of encouragement
~ for the texts and calls
~ for the promise of a night out
~ for the delicious cupcakes
~ for the Easter dinner neither one of us had the motivation to cook
~ for the patience and understanding 
~ for the figurine that reminds us of our strength
~ for the sharing of stories giving hope for the future 
~ for the peace
~ for the hugs, near and far
~ for thinking and caring for us

Announcing...

October 1, 2011: boyfriend & girlfriend

July 19, 2013: husband & wife

October 29, 2014: daddy & mommy