Thursday, May 14, 2015

Mother's Day, 2015

Last year, I fought back tears.  I plastered a smile on my face.  I worked to make it through the day, going through the motions.  It had only been weeks since I lost my little baby.  I tried to fill the emptiness.  But, I failed.  The day was yet another reminder of what I had lost.  All I could do was look forward and hope.

And I did.

This year, I am glowing.

I knew I wanted to capture this picture of the mom-to-be and grandmas-to-be, but I didn't know the feelings it would conjure as I look at it.

For the first time this weekend, the idea of getting to be a mom is starting to sink in.  It helped that my Friday morning started with the first little flutter in my tummy.  Just like a butterfly, my little nugget said "Good morning, Momma."  Then, hearing "Happy Mother's Day" all day long, reminding me of the precious babe growing and thriving inside me.  The weekend ended Monday afternoon at my sixteen week appointment listening to my little nugget's heartbeat.  No better sound in the world.

Even more so, I look at my mom's proud smile and am so excited she gets to be a grandma.  And how lucky I am that my kids will have her.  I can picture their future: playing in flour while baking, laying on the floor coloring, sleeping over with Grandpa Doug teasing them and running to Grandma for comfort.  I am jealous.  And so grateful.

We all look forward to next year in the same spot when we will pass around a seven month old giggling baby who will never question how loved he/she is.