On birthday eves, I hold on tight. They get extra books, extra snuggles, and extra lullabies. Because when they wake up in the morning, they will be another year older. And I'm not ready to admit it.
It surprised me when Mila turned one. The desire to hold on and not let go. Knowing that the next time I see her, she will "officially" be another year older. Even though it's only a day, it's marked by another year. As Mila celebrated more brithdays, it didn't get easier. From two to three and three to four, I stalled every birthday eve bedtime to savor all of the last moments of that year before the next milestone.
Tomorrow, my baby girl will be one year old. So I am savoring these moments for a different reason. I will never have a baby this little again. When I realize that, I squeeze tighter.
Birthday eves are extra tough on this Momma's heart.
Smiles and tears.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this piece. You offered a new way of expressing something so many parents feel.
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