Reasons I Don't Write

Writing is always on my mind--I mean, I am an English teacher for crying out loud.  I am constantly observing life, making mental notes, analyzing other writing, and capturing images to draft about later.  But, rarely do any of these moments come to fruition.  But, why?

No Accountability
No due date.  No assignment.  No pressure.  No motivation.  I need to learn to set goals.

Too Much to Say
Once I do get writing, I am afraid I won't know when or how to stop.  The ideas and feelings will pour out of me.  There are so many things I want to write about.  Seriously.  I have lists of ideas.  But, I get too wrapped up in starting that I never actually start.

Nothing Unique to Write
My experiences and life--as a teacher, mom, wife, daughter--are not unique.  Everyone deals with these same struggles and celebrations.  I wonder what I have to offer to the conversation that has not been written before.  

Lack of Time
Or is it discipline?  I have not carved out space to make writing a priority.  It seems with each new life stage, I have to reimagine what this means.  While I try to get up before everyone else in the house to have some quite time, I'm not sure it's enough time.  Between reading, writing, exercising, and working, it is sometime easier to play a game on my iPad.

Easier to Read (or play a game on my iPad, or dink around on my phone)
Sometimes, I just want to escape from my life, not write about it.  On a positive note, I've read more this year than I have ever read before.

Can't Multitask When I Write
Writing requires my full attention.  For a girl who is a master multitasker, this is a hard sell.  When I watch a show, I can also be reading, working, coloring, or playing a game.  With writing, I have to give it my complete focus.

Worried about Oversharing
I am an open book.  I am honest to a fault.  However, I come from a family of introverts, so I am very aware of the desire for privacy.  What right do I have to take that privacy from those I write about?  Will my family/friends be embarrassed by what I share?  Where is the line?  What is the difference between their story and my story?

High Expectations
Self-inflicted, of course.  I think it is worse when I know I can do something and do it well.  Then I beat myself up over not doing it.

Out of Practice
My writing stamina is not what it used to be.  And yes, I know there is only one way to fix it.

Afraid of Vulnerability
This is the big one.  Writing makes me vulnerable.  It makes me breakdown my life and deal with the feelings.   Sometimes, especially during hard times, I just have to be strong to make it through the day.  And that means not recognizing how I feel.

The Missing Slice

The "Slice of Life" challenge so pointedly reminds me about the missing slice of my life: writing.  

I know the advantages for me, my students, my mind.

I know I always feel better emotionally, physically, and spiritually after writing.

I know I love to look back on my writing and reflect on the person I was through the voice.  

I know it's who I am. 

But, I haven't done it.  

I haven't journaled my thoughts, feelings or memories.

I haven't blogged Mila's many milestones. 

I haven't shared the amazing happenings with my students' learning.  

I could provide excuses.  Or, I could just write.  

So, before I delete this post and decide not to commit (because that would be easier) I'm going to hit "Publish" and see what happens.